Free ninety nine

In all honesty, Brock and I have never had a beater car and in someways we feel a little gypped. It's a right of passage to have a car that you're embarrassed to drive, almost like having your first job. You know, the one you hate and therefore motivates you to go to college to earn a retirement so you don't have to work at all. Well, we're thirty and definitely passed the need for motivation, but thankfully or unthankfully, we can now put a notch in our belt and share stories with our kids in our old age about the lessons we've learned from driving a beater car. We'll just have to leave out the line...."When I was your age...."

Sadly our BMW had a light at the end of its tunnel and was recently totaled. We really enjoyed driving that girl, but mostly we loved her diesel gas and incredible gas mileage. Since we were down a car we decided it was time to upgrade to a family car. We couldn't bring ourselves to do the minivan thing yet and really, we have two kids not three. So after much deliberation we ordered a Honda Pilot and settled to drive our Altima to the ground.

About two months ago, our neighbors were getting ready to move and said, "hey, do you want a free car?" My hubby was TDY at the time so I told them maybe and decided to talk to him that night. Boy did Brock jump all over that one. Free car. Done deal. Now I can add another notch to MY belt, because I took care of all the paper work and transactions for a free car with my man on TDY. Well this couldn't have been a better idea since our Altima is on its way to the grave and not currently drivable. So these last two weeks I've had to resort to driving our 1998 2 door Black Ford Escort Coupe.....with the kids.

This car is a winner. Oh, yeah. The previous owner broke the key off in the ignition and couldn't get it out. He said he even put super glue on the stub and stuck it in the ignition for 10 minutes hoping it would catch the end and pull it out. Didn't work. You can start this thing with a Popsicle stick. When he handed me the spare key I asked him what good this will do, he suggested that I break off the end in case of an emergency. WOW. Because the key is permanently stuck in the ignition, that annoying "ding, ding, ding" that make makes you scream "for the love of all that's holy, someone pull the key out of the ignition" will NEVER end.

The windshield wipers only work on high and stop in place when you turn them off instead of nicely sliding to the bottom position of the windshield like most cars. It takes a good 5 minutes of switching them on and off to keep them from obstructing my view. High, off. High, off. High, off. You get the idea. I usually have a lengthy deliberation in my mind before deciding to actually turn them on.

Our black beauty is also a "sports car" and I use that term VERY loosely. The clutch and the gas are VERY sensitive. The first week or so consisted of jerky convulsions down the road, to which I'm yelling at pedestrians that its in their best interest to get out of my way because I am definitely not in control. I don't suggest riding in our car on a full stomach or a full bladder. On the bright side, for a two door it's quite roomy and we've discovered the kids had more room in this car than the Altima. .......;-)

In the end, our neighbors told us, "If you have any problems, the junk yard will take it for $300". (I could almost interpret his comment as, "don't bother fixing it because it isn't worth your time or money, sucka!) What can I say, my car will be here in a week and a half and I can't wait!